Rest. Sabbath.
From the Middle English sabat, from Latin sabbatum, from Greek sabbaton, from Hebrew shabb?th, from God:
“And God blessed the seventh day and set it apart as/made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.” Genesis 2:3; NIV, GWT versions.
These days rest can be a rare commodity. Especially on Sundays.
We race and chase to get to church on time. We wrestlemania our kids into presentable clothes, brushing and tucking them into shape. We try to plan snack packs and pour bottles, stash diapers and wipes into the bulging baby bag and still make it out the door on time with woobies in tow.
This is our ritual of Sunday “rest.” And it assumes that we will part ways with our kids at the sanctuary doors, they off to Sunday school and us to worship and listen to the sermon. But this paradigm does me no good as their mother. It makes me restless.
If we are separated for 9 hours a day, five days a week then another morning of daycare does not set the Sabbath apart for us. There is no rest in the face of a desperate toddler who doesn’t understand the difference between two hours and nine. There is no rest for a mother who is trying to pry chubby arms from around her neck in order to go and sit in a place of worship. There is no relief in being told that your child will cry it out when you have been hearing the same thing in a different context the rest of the week. Perhaps if I was home with my boys I would feel differently. I am sure many mothers do. But in the meantime, there must be grace for where we are right now.
So I listen to my boys and the whisper of God’s gentle spirit, which reminds me:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV; The Message)
So we compromise and walk into church and God’s presence together, clutching woobies, diaper bag and hands. We point out the drums and guitar and Pete and I hold one child each as we sing over small heads, which are bowed on our shoulders, nuzzled into our necks. And the profound peace that wells up in my soul fills me with a sense of rest in the midst of an exhausting week that transcends the short span of the service.
Then the moment comes when Jackson announces he is ready to go to Sunday school and we escort him proudly to his class where he is greeted by yelps of glee from boys who are sculpting play-doh. Micah may cling a little longer. That’s ok with me. I take my cues from him. Sometimes when the singing ends he is eager to be off in search of the room where he knows they serve snacks. But sometimes he prefers to sit ensconced in my lap and listen. Warm back pressed into my body, blond curls tickling my chin, we sit. We rest. Together.
And those are the best days.
** For more stories of trying to slow things down a beat, I recommend you stop by Chatting at the Sky, where star-gazing is in and there’s great folks to keep you company.**
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
I felt much the same when we were just three, and we both worked. I hated leaving her for one more hour. So we didn’t go at all, and I think times were unnecessarily harder for it. But, you’re right, staying home with them make Sunday much more fun. One of my favorite parts is when the get home they run up the stairs and tear off their clothes to put pjs on for lunch. We’ve been getting more and more into the stories they learn in Sunday school and it’s so amazing what my oldest remembers. It’s such a great day but I really do get bummed if somebody gets stressed, cause it is supposed to be our restful day.
For us the compromise has been to keep the kids in church with us for the worship and longer if they like. It has been a great comfort to us all and helped create a sense of understanding in them about church and why we go. And then when we have shared part of the service together we take them to the “school” part of the morning when they are ready. And you are right, yes, when all is said and done we love to go home, unbuckle and unwind together. Naps. Rest, it’s a beautiful thing.
I humbly admit that we leaned on the sinning side getting the family to church. That , coupled with all the sports, meant many missed services, but a lot of rest, togetherness and sacredness
We are still in process of deciding how to move forward, and I admit I lean heavily on the Catholic school system that provides guidance, but still….
Oh man, we all lean on the “sinning side” of just about everything we do, don’t we? But God is so much more gracious to us than many I think. As you say, all life is sacred in him: sport, church, rest, togetherness, school. It is all his. Sunday is simply a chance to pause and acknowledge that with others. To regroup and learn together. It’s the family unit multiplied. That’s why we like to try and keep our little unit together for at least part of the service.
Hey. I nominated you for an award. Check out my blog.
Sorry I didn’t read this post yet. So tired. After MEA and then kids home sick I’m tuckered. But I’m sure it’s marvelous, as they all are. Loved the last one – story of Ruth. I love that scripture, and the song.
I just love having my littles with me in church. There’s nothing like standing there, in the gymnasium (actually, the wall says it’s a “cafetorium”!) where our church meets, with a child wrapped around me, lifting my voice and my heart in worship. It doesn’t last long, the lot of us all together… eventually, like Jackson, Kathleen asks to go to class. Madeline, too. And then John David wants to eat, so we mosey off to the teacher’s lounge, to nurse and listen to the service (and fellowship with the other nursing moms). But those moments of peace and true worship all together sustain me (and make the all the work and preparation Saturday night and Sunday morning less of a burden).
Yes, yes, that’s it exactly. Ab-so-lu-tely! Yes. That’s my kind of rest.
Ah, how this is speaking to me. I, being the SAHM, neeeeeeed to go to church. After all the pouring out, I need some filling up. I started going to my church when I had 2 1/2 babes, and they did not want to be “left” in the nursery. Understandably, as I had never “left” them anywhere where they didn’t know the caregivers. I spent my first 6-7 weeks of going to this new church sitting in the nursery with them, so that eventually they would feel comfortable enough for me to leave. And it worked.
Now with 4, I call it a successful Sunday if I make it to church at least moderately on time and without screaming. These days I feel like I’m blasting in, wherever I go. And if they cry, I just keep walking. The last 2 Sundays I have blasted in, and had people comment to me to “breathe.” Ah yes. How worshipful, restful is it to drag, scream, hustle and blast.
It’s good that you found how to live this out better. This resting. I need to do some serious work on that.
I love this perspective, thanks for sharing it! Rest really is in the eye of the beholder, isn’t it?
I have been in your situation. I have three boys – the youngest is only 22 months. He used to be in daycare 5 days a week and it pained me to put him in to more daycare (even if it was only for an hour or so) on the weekend while we attended church. I did it a couple of times before I realized that wasn’t the best situation for him (or myself!)
It is so nice to hear from someone else who has gone through the same situation – and is OK with their decision to do what works for their family.
Thanks for your post!
My little guy is 22 months as well! And thanks for your affirmation. Sometimes I feel like the lone crazy mom who wants to keep her kids by her side during the service. It’s nice to know that other working mamas understand the pain of parting on the weekends. And when we were in South Africa kids were always considered a large part of the worship service. I tell you what, there’s nothing that melts a mom’s heart quite like seeing a gang of preschool boys all dancing along side their dads during the drum solo! So, those experiences have shaped how we raise our boys and we love to have them with us for the worship.
I love this perspective. My kids are all old enough to either go to Sunday school willingly or sit through the service without wiggling and stage whispering. But I so remember spending half the service trying to leave one in the nursery, and as I read your post, I think, what was the purpose of that time I spent? It was neither worshipful nor restful. You keep on doing what you’re doing. And keep on writing about it!
Thank you, thank you. The encouragement means a lot.
I love this idea, and I think we will have to try it! We go to a very large church and the teachers and children in the classrooms change on a weekly bases, its hard for the kids. I’m thinking having singing and worship with us and then seeing if they would like Sunday School is a great ide!
Yea, it’s hard for kids to adjust to someone new week after week. It would be great if this could help ease their Sunday experience a bit.
Loved this.
Recently found you through your post at (in)courage, and I like the way you write.
I remember being single, and sitting with friends in church. There would be a mother with her child a few rows over, and without fail my friends would make comments about “Oh…don’t they know what nurseries are for?” Oh, how little they knew! Now that I have my own child, I can’t even imagine NOT having him with me during service. What better place for our children to grow up than in the lap of heartfelt worship at home and in the assembling of other Believers.
I HEART your comment. That is exactly how I feel!
I am a children’s ministry director and we purposely have the kids (prek and up) in the service with us–they can stay the whole time or be dismissed half way through to children’s church. Our sunday school is a different hour. I love having kids worshipping with their families. I love all ages together in the same room. Kids are taught they are a valuable part of our community. Keep bringing them in…
Oh wonderful – how lovely to hear! That’s the kind of church I came from in South Africa. And I know there are plenty stateside as well that have a mix and match of kids and family time throughout the service. Thanks for sharing, it’s encouraging to hear!
Oh, I feel this! I’m a stay at home with older kids, so time apart is not as much of an issue. The issue is me. I find Sunday to be one of the least restful, least Sabbath like days of the week. What with the rush to arrive on time, the serving before or after the service, the kids wanting to have their friends over… I am left wanting. I long for the rest, the sacred, the togetherness. I have been churched for over 30 years and to be honest, it’s wearing thin. Hope that’s ok to say;) I’m so happy for you that you’ve found what works for your family.
It’s not just “ok” to say how you really feel it’s good! This is a safe space for women to share
And wearing thin is one of the things we suffer from the most I think. I have also grown up “churched” my whole life. And sometimes it’s difficult to break into new patterns that work for your family. Our attempts are a work in progress. I hope you are able to try some new rhythms on occasion that might help yours.