Open arms, ready or not

Some days life comes at you in a fast, blurry, haze.

You have to take a step back before it knocks you down. You adjust your focus and still can’t quite see things clearly.

All you know for sure is that motherhood is a series of meals half eaten but never while they are still hot.  It means finding John Deere tractor snacks in unexpected places and vacuuming sandbox sand out of the toy kitchen. It means the temptation to wax lyrical on the high calling of being a mom when your kid would rather be wrestling with you and keeps pawing at your computer with grubby hands to make his point. It means learning to say “yes” to someone else’s needs before your own.

It also means learning to say “no” when you know the result will be tempter tantrums of epic proportions. It means being brave. It means moments of locking yourself in the bathroom to shriek like a banshee and howl at the moon.

It means you are never alone.

It means finding joy trapped in back between two car seats. It means surrendering your car, your laundry room, your dining preferences, and your life to the whirlwind of raising human beings. It means pretending you don’t hear the sounds of someone kicking a soccer ball when it’s supposed to be naptime because you are so desperate for a break that you’d rather have them in there pretending to sleep than in here kicking up a ruckus.

It means you are tired, all. the. time.

It means coaxing out reluctant bowel movements and rejoicing at discovering products labeled with you in mind (I heart you “Pets and Kids” stain remover!) It means learning the names of all Barney’s playmates and picking ticks off places that no boy ever wants a blood sucker to take up residence. It means losing your mind and finding the funny all on the same day.

It’s bliss. That just happens to be hard to find some days under all the layers of dirty dishes, discarded toys, hot air humidifiers, and broken chair legs.

It’s motherhood. Some days you squint as it barrels your direction. But amazingly, wonderfully, courageously you spread your arms anyway. I hope you know how remarkable that makes you. Because it does.

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As part of refocusing I am re-offering this post, originally written October 14, 2009 as part of my friend Jo’s Flash Back Friday.

Motherhood. Some days it comes barreling toward you whether you are braced and ready for it or not.

I hope your weekend gives you a chance to adjust your focus and switch all your settings down to “real slow.”