Mothers do this thing where we sit around and compare “war wounds.” We revel in it. Comparing how many hours we were in labor, how the anesthetic wore off, what the doctors said, how large our newborn’s head was or how much he or she weighed.
And for the uninitiated, it may sound like pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood are the antithesis to joy, that they give new meaning to the words “the dark ages,” that, in other words, they are the absolute pits and it’s a wonder the human race continues.
Stretch marks, gassiness, bloating, incontinence and kissing your favorite pair of jeans from Prague good bye forever – yes, that’s true.
The fear and uncertainty of what labor holds – yes, that’s true too.
The agony of contractions and being subject to the primal demands of your body, which will, in that moment, transcended your control by miles – yes, also true.
The exposure in a room full of strangers, the awkwardness, the lack of privacy, modesty or clothes – absolutely true.
The nausea, the light-headedness, the exhaustion after pushing a human being out into the world – yes, all true.
The sometimes long and painful road to feeling anything like yourself again – check.
The sleepless nights, the aching body, the belief that you will never feel rested again – unfortunately, all fact.
But in reciting all these lists and comparing all these stories, we are leaving out a crucial element. The only part of the story that really matters. The part that puts everything else into perspective. The sacred take-off-your-shoes-you’re-standing-on-holy-ground part.
The otherworldly experience of co-creating life with Christ.
Because it is one thing to read and imagine what it might have looked like as the Father breathed life into Adam, it is quite another to witness a brand new being cough and gasp its way to a first breath as lungs that have never held oxygen before expand for the first time.
It is one thing to picture the Creator shaping Adam from the earth; it is another to feel a human foot kick you from the inside. It is one thing to understand with your head that man was made in his Father God’s image, it is quite another to look into the scrunched up eyes of a wailing infant and hear her cries soften as you whisper “I’m your mama.” As she recognizes herself in you and you see your own image imprinted over her profile.
It is sacred. It is bloody. It is real.
It is truth that climbs up off the pages of Scripture and leaps alive into your arms when theoretical beliefs in a Creator give way to experiencing the act of creation.
It is the backdrop to any child birth war story that is shared. It is the truth that colors wildly outside the stark black and white lines of labor. It is the heart of the heart of motherhood. That sacrifice – this seeming indignity, this hard and aching moment – produces such joy.
I believe it is the roadmap for years to come.
What appears embarrassing from the outside, we come to own as beauty refined when we live it from the inside. What some would cringe away from, we embrace. Where we hurt, where we stretch, where we are cut, these are the marks of courage and compassion that define us in ways that far surpass our weight.
And as for that favorite pair of jeans? I bet my daughter will look great in them one day.
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Love this.
What a neat correlation. Loved this. It spoke to my heart!
We earn those battle scars don’t we?! Congrats on the new baby
You girls are dolls!
Blessings,
Mel
Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God
That last line? Golden!!
Yes, labor and delivery has it’s horror stories, but oh the babies!! This is why I have four kids…
This is so good. I’m sending it some mama’s I know.
I can’t imagine any of it… your words are pure and perfect, and still my brain can only half wrap around it. I can’t imagine a kick from the inside… a feeling of never being alone as another is knitted. But there was once I was at the hospital with my best friend when my godson was born. I was in the room while she contracted and I felt him through her stomach as he hiccuped. I left the room only for 10 minutes as she pushed and she and her husband welcomed Tyler into the world, and when I walked back into the room and she put him in my arms, he still had the hiccups. And I thought, “it really was you in there.”
Oh yes, exactly – the recognition. That’s one of the most amazing parts- you, it was you all along!
Such pain.
Such beauty.
Such truth.
Beautiful. Just beautiful. My mom and I talked about the day I was born the other day when we looked at your beautiful little Zoe… and we were both a little teary-eyed. Your writing is searing true.
Your words give me Goosebumps today. Earlier I read your post about finding my pulse, slowing down to focus on the rhythm of real life…which was just after I has a rushed morning getting my kids out the door to get my daughter to ballet class on time. I felt deeply a kind reprimand in my heart.
This post is delightful and fills me up, again directing my focus to the miracles I am blessed with even if I fight them to take naps today.
Bless you!
Holli – we all fight that nap battle! You are not alone!
I love this post so much. Underneath all those chronologies of pain is the priceless act of bringing one new life to earth. You expressed it well as co-creating with God.
Yes, the pain seems to be a footnote in the story when one is looking back. Perspective sure helps!
So incredibly holy! Awe-inspiring. Lovely. So very thankful for you all!!!
this makes me excited to do it another time. about 7 or 8 weeks left. and to think i was starting to think it was all routine and “just another boy”.
silly me, Great God.
xo. congrats!
Oh yes, this is just lovely and true.
Yes, I had many of the same feelings – until she was there. Until I heard her crying. And then came the “take-off-your-sandals” feeling and the tears and I was right back there again in the sacred place and somehow able to feel and appreciate it deeper than each time before. Because each time I learn something new and each time I realize how much shorter those first weeks are than we realize initially. Savor it. Enjoy it. And a boy? I’m a big fan! We have two!
Gorgeous. Makes me wanna have another baby…
That is the danger…..baby hormones are catching!
This. This is what I miss of being pregnant, even after only 7 weeks! This is the reason why I hope that God blesses us again (in due time!) It’s definitely worth all of the battle scars, the heartburn, the depletion of pre-pregnancy wardrobe!
The heartburn! That’s what I left off the list
Shoes. off.
I am amazed that in one moment you can be in the most excruciating pain you’ve ever felt and in the next, pure joy. That is how it was the moment they laid Lucas on my chest. As I looked at his sweet little face, I knew that, God willing, I wanted to do it again.
Yes, yes. It’s crazy. And yet, so true.
Seriously, this is one of my favorite posts I have EVER read. My little girl will be a month old this weekend, and this post had me mentally thrust back to the delivery day… the intensity of that beautiful, hallowed day…
Thank you for saying it better than I’d ever be able to.
Oh you make me smile. Thank you, friend.
This brought on some unexpected tears. My body and heart are still healing from my second surgery this year, failed attempts at childbirth repairs. I needed your words, the gentle reminder that my children are “The part that puts everything else into perspective. The sacred take-off-your-shoes-you’re-standing-on-holy-ground part.”
I don’t want to forget that.
Yes, sacred and still it can hurt. Trusting the Father heals you – inside and out, my friend.
Well, I’m in the weepy, early stages of my 2nd pregnancy… and you’ve got me bawling in praise to our Maker.
I’ve struggled with not feeling as “excited” this time around, but you’ve helped renew my perspective, my awe. Shoes off – yes. Thank you. And congratulations on your beautiful Zoe Grace. (Oh, and I love the “Mommy” PJs!)
You know, I wasn’t that excited this third time either. But when I heard her – well, let’s just say the flood gates opened and I know for certain I will savor this time around even more than the first two.
This choked me up in emotion. Beautiful!
beautiful and SO true. What a gift it is to be a mother, to wear the scars. How many hours have we spent re-living those glorious, life-altering moments of birth. It’s all so spectacular! Every story brimming with miracles! Congratulations on you newest family member!!!
You have put the indescribable into such beautiful words Lisa-Jo. Amazing.
Oh, the early, early days with wee baby, when I always think they seem they’re still partly with God. A little foreign, a little far away, blessing us with their presence! So happy for you, LJ and family! And I, too, love the Mommy PJs! Awesome and really nice to have comfy cute things that fit one in those post-days. Ha. Best of success, sleep and patience as you adjust to this new life w/o MIL!
Beautiful. Your post and your daughter are both absolutely beautiful.
So true, so precious!
And then…just when the nights get easier, when baby starts to squirm down and toddle away…there is this divine longing to go back to those first insane, maddening, beautiful moments again!
What a gift! – Teri
Oh my, Lisa-Jo – you have done it again. Captured in perfect, beautiful prose that most remarkable experience: co-creating with the God who made us all…oh yes. I was so very young when my 1st one was born and didn’t know what to expect AT ALL (living 14,000 miles from home, exactly 3 pre-natal visits, driving over a corrugated dirt road 40 miles into the bush, asking my pregnant neighbor…”Could this strange back pain and hardening of my belly be labor??? – at 19 days past due and counting!!). But then…then… that magical, glorious push that brought our first daughter into this world – and me crying out, “Oh, I wish I could this 10 times!!” Didn’t make it to 10, but each one of our 3 was absolutely the most sacred, the most joyous experience of my life. (Is it possible for each of 3 to the MOST?? Yes…it is!) Thanks so much for capturing this for us all to remember and/or celebrate.
This is absolutely beautiful–and the part about the “war stories” is right on, it’s the only time women ever act macho–you know, “Mine was a 22 pounder with no epidural” and “I think i was in labor for 56 hours”. . . !
Congratulations! I so relate. As a midwife, one of my greatest joys is removing the “war wounds” aspect from birth, and facilitating a safe, respectful experience for women, with no strangers, no bright lights, no embarrassing exposure- so that the hard work and labor part they have to go through is easier. It’s like having a ring side seat at a miracle, over and over.
JDaniel was just asking how God did this yesterday. I have trouble wrapping my brain around it.
Your words are beautiful. The ‘take-off-your-shoes’ part struck me, this co-creating with God is most definitely holy ground!
First off – Congratulations on baby Zoe! I’ve been out of town and away from my computer so missed the wonderful news. She is beautiful!
Secondly – thanks for the reminder. My little Nora is heading on 6 months now and in between figuring out how to balance life and littles, you do forget the fact that all of this is a blessing. And that everyday I need to remember being a parent to two little people is really a holy ground type of moment.
Ohhhhh…. tears streaming. You captured this miracle SO perfectly.
A perfect word for my pensive mind & rejoicing heart! That moment was one of a destiny fulfilled & 2 others beginning. This time last year I found out I was having twins! So my mind is full of memories & a heart full of thanks as I think about our Heavenly Father’s plan for me & mine “for such a time as this”. Blessings of sleep & congrats on this new round of motherhood.
I just love the words you choose… so beautiful Lisa-Jo!
And, now I’m crying. Such a beautiful expression of the heart of a mom. No matter how horrible it was, the memory pales in comparison to the little life that was created.
Beautiful. You put my thoughts into words. There is so much that is sacred about child birth. A connection to something spiritual. A glimpse into God. A deeper understanding of love. A preparation for parenthood. Truly magical.
Those are some of the most precious newborn baby pictures I’ve ever seen. And I love how they are in black and white. No need for color – that little thing has enough preciousness in her without it.
phenomenally said. beautiful. such truth.
Lisa Jo, when I met you at Relevant I thought you regal and beautiful and warm and so, so lovely. As I continue to read your words and hear your Mama heart speak, I can’t help but think you are just about the most beautiful Mama I know.
And some news that makes me uber happy? We don’t have to ever stop being in awe of His creation in our babies. Even when they aren’t really “babies” anymore!
I adore you, LJ! Good, good words here.
today i am so tired it hurts, fatigue expressed through tears as i try to make it thru the day with 4 under 4, 2 of whom are sick with colds as is my husband.
today i type one handed, babe in arms
today i read your words and weep some more, but this time at the sheer joy, the powerful reminder of the immense privilege of being mother.
yes, a sacred moment.
thank you for the reminder, dear friend.
Holy cow. This was an awesome.
Oh this…this is so beautiful. I was scared to have babies…as a nurse I felt like I only saw the messy, difficult parts. I felt like the moms I know only talked of the cost. Once my son came to earth I said “I get it. People can’t articulate the other side. There is no way to put into words this kind of holy…this kind of good”. But you friend…you did it! You put it in words!
THANKS!
Beautiful! It made me cry. The good kind of cry! Thank you.
What a beautiful post. I am looking forward to experiencing this miracle again with baby #4 due in about 6 weeks.
So beautiful!
wow, that was so powerful and so moving, and funny too. all so true. and all so beautiful! thanks for writing this…I love your blog !!
I want to cry selfish that I miss everything.
But my breath is too taken with cheeks and fingers and small lips and
Oh Lisa-Jo.
My heart stitches diamonds to tiny soles of tiny shoes
that are fit only for this Zoe of yours.
I love you so.
Sara Sophia
so beautiful and so true. this brought tears as I thought about Him and about my kids. Thank you for such a good read.
Amen!
Amazing post. Touched my heart.
I am absolutely reporting this. I am a birth doula and I find it so sad that people get so wrapped up in the tough parts of childbearing that they miss put on embracing the tremendous miracle they have witnessed. It is in thanks to mothers like you who speak up for the truth that God is given praise for the wonder of new life. Than you!