What you can see when the light’s just right

July 13, 2010

I watched you–wild and fearless–in the water and saw the boy you are becoming.

You laughed at the sprays, danced in the drops, gulped down a fire hydrant’s worth.
I saw you at five. You have journeyed miles since four. I saw you at six, seven, eight starting to care how your hair falls and what jeans [...]

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If you give a mouse a cookie

July 12, 2010

If you give a kid a bucket, he will want to fill it with dirt.
If you give a kid some dirt, he’ll want to mix it with water.
If you give a kid some water, he will pour it all over himself.
If you give a kid some paper towels to wipe up the spills, he will [...]

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You may think I’m weird but…

July 9, 2010

On the rare ocassion I drink coffee, I like it to be instant, decaf, Nescafe.
I think cold, leftover pizza is one of the most delicious foods in the morning.
I can quote, word for word, lines from books or movies I saw years before, but can never remember the price of a gallon of gas.
I have [...]

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When the walls are closing in

July 7, 2010

He comes to find me in the dark. Eyes squinted against my bedside lamp, he whispers, “Mama. Mama I gotta be by you.”
Bad dreams and hot summer nights drive him out of his bed, down the hallway and into mine. And I, I who crave space like oxygen at the end of some days, open [...]

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Finally

July 6, 2010

So, I know I’ve been blathering on rather obliquely over the last month.
About feeling lost when you’re following the spiderweb of God’s will.
About discovering life after coming out of a season of “no.”
About learning not to be afraid of God-sized dreams.
About transition.
Thank you for walking with me as I processed. I’m delighted to be able [...]

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Balancing the happy ending

July 5, 2010

The lovers in movies kiss in shades of intimate sunset. Wind and light and time stand still for them. Their moments are filled with space to breathe and exhale and savor. They hold hands. They look long and deep into the insides of each other’s eyes to interpret what lingers there. They read each other [...]

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When I fly, I always…

July 2, 2010

Chug large quantities of Dramamine – otherwise, believe me, you wouldn’t want to be seated next to me for a 16 hour flight! Can you say “barf-a-rama”?!
Always place a hand on the plane as I board and whisper a prayer for the pilots.
Prefer an aisle seat.
Bring at least two Dick Francis books to read.
Recline my [...]

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Transition

July 1, 2010

July.
Hot sticky season of freedom. I love you. When I opened the windows this morning, you breezed in like an old friend. I have felt this happy to see you before. The year we melted with relief when the right job at the right time came through for Pete. That July brought us home to [...]

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Time to get the passport back in the game

June 29, 2010

I’ve filled three passports with visa stamps since I got my first one. But my current travel document has been neglected of late. It’s been sitting in the top drawer of the bureau I inherited from my Oupa. The oak bureau that was already old before I was born. The one that made the journey [...]

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Why my arms ache on Sunday mornings

June 28, 2010

When I stand in church on Sunday mornings my arms are full of a boy who doesn’t realize that he is no longer a baby. Two and a half and I cherish his stubborn instance that he and I are still just one heart beating in two (barely) separate bodies.
My arms are full of my [...]

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